I'm Fine.
Several years ago, I took my teenage daughter to the doctor for something painful and annoying like an ingrown toenail. The doctor walks into the exam room and says, "Hello! How are you today?" She said, "Fine", but she's thinking, Really, sir? obviously I'm not fine, or I wouldn't be here!
To this day when I hear someone say they're fine I have to wonder, especially when it's my daughter!! But I say it too. I'm not sure if people are just being polite and making conversation, or if they genuinely want to know how I am doing. I always want to give glory to God, and tell what great things He has done. I want everyone to know how blessed I am to be alive, how grateful I am that I'm not confined to a wheelchair. But how many negative details do I include? Do they want to know that the nerve pain is constantly crazy in my hands and feet? that I must walk very carefully because my balance is poor? that my back hurts much too soon? that my triceps are still wimpy? that even though I might look normal I still have a long ways to go?
Praise God that I have come this far, but, please, God, can I have more?
I don't want to sound complain-y, and I'm not asking for sympathy, but there are still things that are not fine or normal. Sometimes I think it HAS to get better, my hands especially, it's gone on long enough now and surely this can't last all the days of my life!!
Then again, I'm ok with it. When I abide in His presence, He gives peace and rest and I trust Him to give grace for each moment. He reminds me that He is always good and He know what's best, His ways and thoughts are so much higher and better than mine!!
"My job simply is to trust Him...to go through the physical and emotional pain and embrace the peace of knowing He is taking care of it. It's not about how bad the pain is, it's about how good our God is!" ( from "Choose Joy" by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver).
So if the pain in my hands and feet never goes away, I will still trust Him, because I know He is good and His grace is always sufficient. I love the promise (and challenge) from 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10.
"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities.....
in distresses for Christ's sake:
for when I am weak, then am I strong."
I'm still working on the "most gladly" and "take pleasure" parts, but I KNOW His strength is made perfect in my weakness!
Now, He gives me strength to fly across the country to visit my family!!
Then, He gave strength to smile through the pain!
Janelle, Grace and Camille came and sang this song for me while I was in rehab.
Listen to the words, Laura Story's "Blessings"
"We pray for blessings,
We pray for peace,
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep,
We pray for healing, for prosperity,
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
And all the while, You hear each spoken need,
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?"
Thank you, Jesus, for Your goodness, Your mercies and Your grace.
I am doing just fine!!!
To this day when I hear someone say they're fine I have to wonder, especially when it's my daughter!! But I say it too. I'm not sure if people are just being polite and making conversation, or if they genuinely want to know how I am doing. I always want to give glory to God, and tell what great things He has done. I want everyone to know how blessed I am to be alive, how grateful I am that I'm not confined to a wheelchair. But how many negative details do I include? Do they want to know that the nerve pain is constantly crazy in my hands and feet? that I must walk very carefully because my balance is poor? that my back hurts much too soon? that my triceps are still wimpy? that even though I might look normal I still have a long ways to go?
Praise God that I have come this far, but, please, God, can I have more?
I don't want to sound complain-y, and I'm not asking for sympathy, but there are still things that are not fine or normal. Sometimes I think it HAS to get better, my hands especially, it's gone on long enough now and surely this can't last all the days of my life!!
Then again, I'm ok with it. When I abide in His presence, He gives peace and rest and I trust Him to give grace for each moment. He reminds me that He is always good and He know what's best, His ways and thoughts are so much higher and better than mine!!
"My job simply is to trust Him...to go through the physical and emotional pain and embrace the peace of knowing He is taking care of it. It's not about how bad the pain is, it's about how good our God is!" ( from "Choose Joy" by Sara Frankl and Mary Carver).
So if the pain in my hands and feet never goes away, I will still trust Him, because I know He is good and His grace is always sufficient. I love the promise (and challenge) from 2 Corinthians 12:9, 10.
"And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:
for my strength is made perfect in weakness.
Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities,
that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities.....
in distresses for Christ's sake:
for when I am weak, then am I strong."
I'm still working on the "most gladly" and "take pleasure" parts, but I KNOW His strength is made perfect in my weakness!
Now, He gives me strength to fly across the country to visit my family!!
Then, He gave strength to smile through the pain!
Janelle, Grace and Camille came and sang this song for me while I was in rehab.
Listen to the words, Laura Story's "Blessings"
"We pray for blessings,
We pray for peace,
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep,
We pray for healing, for prosperity,
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering.
And all the while, You hear each spoken need,
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things.
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near?
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?"
Thank you, Jesus, for Your goodness, Your mercies and Your grace.
I am doing just fine!!!
It was so nice to read this. You have a beautiful way with words. I often struggle with the question of how much to say when I'm asked how I'm feeling. I find myself using the "I'm fine" answer often.
ReplyDeleteThank you for writing this, I needed it.